bored blogger

It's been ages since my last post in this particular "secret" blog. "Secret" for the reason that among my diversified blog assets, this one is the least commercialized. Unlike blogs in my Friendster and Multiply accounts where, as far as I'm aware, a larger number of people can access my journal entries more easily, this LJ is where I'm truest to myself. It has positioned itself as a sanctuary where I can store private thoughts safely; my own universe which can serve as a blank sketchpad to paint any picture of my liking. This online diary had been the shock absorber of the outbursts of my imagination and touches of eccentricity for the past three or four years. It's a witness to all my highs and lows, kafeelingans, pretensions, aspirations, illusions, hallucinations, triumphs, worries, hurt egos and what have I.

It's not that I stopped writing for a while, no. It's just that external factors swamped over endlessly, and I'd been bombarded with "more practical" activities day in and day out, that I never had the chance to write down my innermost concerns as often as I used to. I wrote journal entries, yes, but just the types that could be posted in the two other blogs, which translate to being the more outlandish ones, and thus less honest.

Lalala. Enough about blahs. Maybe the reason why I didn't get to write here as much is because there was really NOTHING exciting to write about. To be truthful, I am searching for a deeper meaning in the way I'm living my life now. It's just so... bland. So boring. If I am to plot my life's last 10 months, it'd be one straight line. Well, there were little bumps in the road (the "kilig" days with ____), but then that would probably not count at all since it hasn't gotten me (or us, hehe) anywhere (and can I just say I miss him?!?).

I'm 22 for crying out loud. To have uneventful days and feel that nothing big is happening in my life is the most pathetic thing. 

Ohgod, this is so sucky. I should find a way out of this rut. I wish to narrate interesting true-to-life stories in this "indie" web space.