At the Edge of the Ocean

Hello LJ blog. Let's stay independently together, can we? :)

2008-07-13T16:03:07Z

Ohmygosh, hello *secret* blog! I super missed you. Even if I almost totally betrayed you for Multiply, I want to let you know that I won't escape your shadows. I have no plans of turning my back on you. You've been with me for the past 4 years! We've been through a lot and you're actually the one I've shared most of my secrets with. I'm sure you know me very well by now. We have a rich past and even if I am opening my world to another of your kind, I want us to stay in touch. We may not journey together in the future, but we can always update each other, right?

I owe you a lot. You developed me; you made me better. You're a very huge part of myself. I will be eternally grateful. You're my bestfriend. One day, I'll introduce you to a special friend. I hope you'll be good friends as well. :-)

I'll always be here.

Yours truly,
i_k_a_y

Okay, a confession.

2007-10-16T16:29:19Z

Hay... here I am, in this state of "dreamlike lyricism", floating blissfully in my thoughts of... him.

Why does he have to be so Jeffrey Sachs-like?
Why do I have to feel the chemistry all over when we're together?
How could he be so noble, so astig, so... admirable, so... him?

Him, him, him! Him, who makes me feel so light; who bring out-of-the-blue secret smiles to my otherwise ordinary days.

I so "crush" him!!! :)

Okay, crush is such an underdeveloped word... more like, like him. Or okay, let me get straight to the point -- love, even.

The environment surrounding us have had hints; have had suspicions that there is magic around the two of us being moulded into something more concrete.

But sadly, a full, solid gold it can't be... perhaps not yet, perhaps never to happen at all.
I'm not sure of the elements he's composed of (or I mean, if there's another person).

I can't proclaim to the earth; I couldn't bring my overflowing heart to admitting to him.

Back to my point. Yup, I am falling... for him. And while it would be so totally shining, shimmering, splendidly wonderful that he feels the same, what I have for him is the type that doesn't expect anything in return...

Hay... I leave it to the gods. I would be happy with however things will turn out. He's one amazing and cool person, and I hope he'll always be happy too. :)

There's no way I'm prompting him to this site but I hope he gets to read this. He's stupid if he wouldn't recognize that it's him I'm referring to. Haha.

Shiyeeetttt. Been bitten by the bug.

For tradition's sake. I super miss my most beloved blog :)

2007-09-04T13:48:36Z

I've been writing and writing work-related reports and e-mails. For my pastime, Friendster surveys mostly consumed me. Eeeek. Hehe.

I almost forgot I have personal writing I can attend to -- one that is faaaaaarrrrr more important and meaningful. :)

And I miss my most trusted friends (and cousins) whom I gave free subscription to my LJ posts. haha.

Below is something I wrote two months ago. It's not so happy-happy-joy-joy but I love you alls anyway. (See mood)

"...Learning how to balance commercial success while staying true to the art of photography is a puzzle I have not yet solved." - Photographer Marcqui Akins

The "art-versus-commerce" dilemma - I have not yet solved that too. It puzzled me twice in the past. First was during college - whether to take Literature out of my own will and undying interest versus the more "practical" and "business-inclined" course that my parents wanted me to pursue: Economics. They had this idea that by taking the track, I'll get richer and that it would put me in a better condition than what they prepared for us. The second time was at work, as a *take note*: Marketing Assistant AND Contributing Writer for a magazine, where I was then pulled by two opposing forces -- to write stories in my own creative way as I saw the events unfold in one end (that is, free from any promotional or commercial considerations), and write sponsored articles by the clients who pay me and whom I had to have smooth relations with on the other (which I had to do carefully, otherwise the publishing company I worked for would not thrive).

By God, if there's really anyone who would understand Akins' problem the most, I think the closest person would be me. I have not yet found the solution for it either. It may not be the most difficult problem in the world, but for someone who has the whole heart for arts but somehow can't freely be one with it permanently due to external factors, it is one dilemma which requires struggling, even to the point of tears.

It is just like one's passion being wagered against society's dictates (for me, at least).

brother

2007-08-03T16:30:39Z

Before Jong changes his current Friendster profile, let me just immortalize this "About Me" part:

"I’m eddon jose a. sarmiento. I prefer to be called jong. I’m conceited . My favorite color is blue but when I was a kid it used to be red. I always daydream. I hate math. Reading is my favorite hobby. I worked for the research department of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. I’m 20 years old. I laugh a lot. I talk to myself when I’m bored. I studied in Marist school. When I was in second year my section was Saint Thomas Aquinas. I study at UST right now. I like to play basketball. My mom is the coolest person in the world. I like watching F1 and tennis. Life is a contact sport so be careful. Batman is my hero. I hate to say this but my sister is one of the biggest influences in my life. I’m an introvert. Someday I want to become a duathlete. I play magic cards and I have a counter deck. Bohol is my favorite place in the world. Al Gore is my idol. I believe that aliens exist. I like listening to the Beatles. I want to help in alleviating poverty in the Philippines. Economics in money, banking and finance is my favorite subject of all time. I play the piano. I love animals. Incubus is a great band. Consolidated Playstar is the best. Music is the best thing that ever happened on Earth. My dream is to become like Neo Anderson."

Ohmygod. To think that in his previous profile, he branded me as a loser. Hehe.

Shux. Wow. I was really silenced after I have read this. He did not prompt me into reading it, of course. He's not the type who would tell me that he wrote something like this, all the more if it's in Friendster. I would not even feel comfortable in telling him that I have read his newly-updated profile. That would probably feel awkward. That might even make him decide to delete this part of his profile altogether and replace it with a quote from some movie instead.

If ever I do tell him, it has to be in a manner that would make it seem like I'm not affected by it at all. I have to make it appear as though it was one major laugh trip. Otherwise, if say, I honestly tell him how I sincerely felt happy, no, blissful about what he said about me, it would ruin some connection that we have. And he would find it extremely cornball.

It's better not to tell him, I think.

Something as genuine as this is better left savored and felt than spoken and discussed.

I would be broken-hearted if I disappoint him. I hope God and his angels would always guide me so I can influence him in the right ways.

creating a craze (i.e., call center)

2007-06-24T19:50:30Z

Lyrics written based from what I remember after hearing the song for the second time. I might be missing some parts.

Call Center by Cambio

Now let's get one thing straight
I don't really want to work this way
But I get paid for my American accent
I have money to pay the rent

This is only temporary
I'm not really in a hurry
I'll party all morning
Work all night
Meet my honey in the broad daylight

Now let's get one thing clear
I don't really want to be here
But they pay me for my perfect diction
I have money for my addiction

I'll be at the call center
Until something better
Comes along my way
It's been a long, long day

The future is alright
The future is so bright

**

When I heard this song for the first time, I admired its originality. I didn't catch the name of the band, but I had the feeling that they are one of those underground bands who, by this song, will now be on the road to becoming a household name (as what happened to, say, Kamikaze for their song "Narda"). The lyrics and message were expressed clearly enough for me to remember some parts of it (especially the chorus) and share it with my brothers.

When I heard it for the second time, I was impressed to the point of blogging it. I decided that its composer had been brilliant in coming up with poetry that would speak of the condition that a lot of the members of the Filipino youth are faced with. It also struck me as a song that foreshadows so much of the culture that we, the gen Y-ers, have shaped (or a culture that molded us to become what we are - I couldn't accurately assess), such as:

1) staying in a place we don't particularly like to be at;
2) losing solid grip of control and be resigned to fate -- we have become experts in adjusting our sails to the winds;
3) settling for a short-term situation - we know it's only fleeting, yet it's something we still spend effort on, just to pass time and get by, and
4) hanging on to hope yet not being hardcore enough to do something to make things happen (And I hope I'll be proven wrong).

I'm writing this for bragging rights (Hey I heard it first! Haha! :p). Perhaps to measure too how much word-of-mouth can fan the flame of Cambio's fame. (I'm sorry if they become the next Hale or Cueshe. I would refuse to be the culprit.)

I'm trying to create a craze. See if it'll explode mushrooms, just like the call center industry.

And just like all hit songs and short-term solutions, it's big at some point, then gone tomorrow.

bored blogger

2007-05-30T13:47:18Z

It's been ages since my last post in this particular "secret" blog. "Secret" for the reason that among my diversified blog assets, this one is the least commercialized. Unlike blogs in my Friendster and Multiply accounts where, as far as I'm aware, a larger number of people can access my journal entries more easily, this LJ is where I'm truest to myself. It has positioned itself as a sanctuary where I can store private thoughts safely; my own universe which can serve as a blank sketchpad to paint any picture of my liking. This online diary had been the shock absorber of the outbursts of my imagination and touches of eccentricity for the past three or four years. It's a witness to all my highs and lows, kafeelingans, pretensions, aspirations, illusions, hallucinations, triumphs, worries, hurt egos and what have I.

It's not that I stopped writing for a while, no. It's just that external factors swamped over endlessly, and I'd been bombarded with "more practical" activities day in and day out, that I never had the chance to write down my innermost concerns as often as I used to. I wrote journal entries, yes, but just the types that could be posted in the two other blogs, which translate to being the more outlandish ones, and thus less honest.

Lalala. Enough about blahs. Maybe the reason why I didn't get to write here as much is because there was really NOTHING exciting to write about. To be truthful, I am searching for a deeper meaning in the way I'm living my life now. It's just so... bland. So boring. If I am to plot my life's last 10 months, it'd be one straight line. Well, there were little bumps in the road (the "kilig" days with ____), but then that would probably not count at all since it hasn't gotten me (or us, hehe) anywhere (and can I just say I miss him?!?).

I'm 22 for crying out loud. To have uneventful days and feel that nothing big is happening in my life is the most pathetic thing.

Ohgod, this is so sucky. I should find a way out of this rut. I wish to narrate interesting true-to-life stories in this "indie" web space.

Dutch Ukay

2007-05-06T09:06:13Z

We fetched dad at the airport earlier this morning. He just got back from Amsterdam, after three weeks of work-cum-leisure trip that was sponsored by the World Press Photo.

His pasalubongs? Haha!

Dad narrated his experience during the Queen's Day -- a day of festivities in the entire city in honor of... well. their queen. He said it was celebrated in such a way that the Dutch would set-up street bazaars from left and right-- their old jackets, books!, clothes, shoes, bags, shades, etc. were sold at very low prices.

He only noticed it late afternoon, when majority of the sellers were already going home. While looking at the items and picking potential pasalubongs from various stalls for us, his family from back home, he asked one of the pedestrian passersby where the sellers were, as if signalling that he'll pay for the items he was holding. To my dad's amazement, the guy said: "Oh... you can take them."

Ohmyf*ckinggod. He looked at the street stretch and saw the long line of goods left by its sellers -- which may now just be collected... all his - free for the taking!

Ukay galore, really! To my dad's mind, if only the Ukay merchandisers in the Phils. were there, it would have been heaven for them.

Sadly, he wouldn't want to pay (and couldn't afford!) the excess baggage charges at the airport, so he only brought home one boxful (one box!) of items, just right for me (I soooooo looooovvveee my new Amsterdam collection of tops, skirts, pants and jackets, hehe), Kokoy (he's loving his sweaters and pantssss), Jong (just like Kokoy's), Isay (she's wearing some later when we hear mass), and Mom (her favorite's the Givenchy shades).

Dad could only laugh at himself for being like a basurero. Eh kinapalan na daw niya mukha niya, tutal wala namang nakakakilala sa kanya don. Hahaha!

My mom would scold me for proclaiming to the world (in this "secret" blog) that we're wearing Ukays, but ohwell. This is news, baby. I swear if I'll ever go to Amsterdam, I'd target that I'm there on the Queen's Day. As much as I hate the Philippines to be the "dumping site" of more well-off countries' goods, I'd be lying if I say I'm not gonna fall for that.

Just happy dad arrived safely. :)

fotografie

2007-04-22T15:01:00Z

HAPPY EARTH DAY, LOVES ;-)

Was listening to NU 107 a while ago. They were discussing about a field that is very close to my heart, which is *tada!* PHOTOGRAPHY.

There were 4 lensmen interviewed, and 2BU's Tammy David was one of them, so was Rem Zamora. Cool. :)

...
..
.

Some noteable points that I recall now from the conversation:
1) Photographers are the best historians.
2) Its great to be a part of history, but a photog must remember that there's a responsibility attached to it.
3) Tammy David's mentor is the Filipino Pulitzer Prize for Photography nominee -- Romy "Tata Romy" Gacad (my *gasp-ehem* mom's ex-boyfriend).
4) One quality of a good photograph is if in just one glance, one can already draw out a story.
5) Photojournalism in news must be truthful; it may be entirely different (and it can be allowable) in advertising.

Yun. Just to add to that: as what my daddy-oh (who is the best photojournalist in the world!!! -- Anyone who will oppose to that will be banned in this blog for eternity! Hehe!) always says in his lectures, a good photograph is so when the viewer feels the same emotion that the photographer felt when he took the shot from his camera's lens.

Yey... go speak of photography and spread the inspiration it may bring forth. My grandfather (who is also a professional practitioner and professor of photography) and dad would be very glad of that. ;-)

i so fucking love this article. i love The Economist!!!! :)

2007-04-19T13:18:11Z

Modern dance

Exploring the unknown

Apr 12th 2007
From The Economist print edition

Sylvie Guillem, a great classical ballerina, turns to new adventures

AT AN age when most ballerinas have hung up their pointe shoes, French-born Sylvie Guillem, now 42, is confounding expectations. She has embraced modern dance and is thrilling audiences all over the world in edgy pieces that more hidebound colleagues might shun.

A precociously brilliant star at the Paris Opéra, Ms Guillem defected to the Royal Ballet in London's Covent Garden in 1989. There, throughout the 1990s, she danced many classic roles: Giselle, Nikiya in “La Bayadère”, Odette/Odile in “Swan Lake”. But she had long felt, or so she confided in a recent interview, that there was something else waiting for her. “I was always interested in modern dance and I had always wanted to do it. I respect the classical repertoire, of course, for the perfection it might touch, but it can close your mind.”

Ms Guillem had shot to fame at the Opéra under Rudolf Nureyev. The great Russian dancer-choreographer promoted her to étoile just before she turned 20: something nobody in the history of Paris ballet had achieved before. Five years later her flight to London, a bid, she says, for artistic self-determination, was treated as a national scandal in France.

London has been Ms Guillem's home ever since. She can be stormy and there have been angry clashes, such as the famous one in the early 1990s with the late Sir Kenneth MacMillan, one of the Royal Ballet's legendary figures. But for nearly 25 years her elegance and suppleness have fascinated the public and choreographers alike. Great dance-makers such as Mats Ek, William Forsythe and Maurice Béjart have created pieces for her. Though she was not initially trained as a dancer—her first love was gymnastics—she had a head start with, in the words of one London critic, “the flukey perfection of her body”. That, coupled with high intelligence and a fierce independence of spirit, has put her in a class of her own.

In 2006 Ms Guillem was made an associate artist at north London's dance home, Sadler's Wells. This was in recognition of her work there with two contemporary dancer-choreographers, Russell Maliphant and Akram Khan. Each has a distinct style. Mr Maliphant's ballet-based improvisations have yoga-like athleticism; Mr Khan's are inspired by the vigorous, foot-and-bell kathak tradition of India. Both moulded their choreography to help Ms Guillem shine with a new energy.

With both choreographers, she says, there was no preconceived plan: everything came step by step, after much conversation and debate. In Mr Maliphant's “Push”, created in 2005, she dances solo in two works: the first a fluid eight minutes in which, barefoot and dressed in light cotton top and trousers, she exhibits her poised lyricism; the second an electrifying piece in which, in a still cube of light, her limbs appear to shoot in all directions.

Then, last year, in an even more unconventional move, she joined Mr Khan in a show called “Sacred Monsters”. Mr Khan wanted to present choreography that explored the performers' roots. In his own case this meant his Asian background; in Ms Guillem's, something of her personality—her likes and dislikes, what “makes me laugh and what I love”.

The result, which is being performed at Sadler's Wells this month and travels to California in May, is an hour-long miscellany of dancing and talking by the two performers. In the final 20 minutes they meet in an astonishing duet that allows their discrete virtues to flower: his expressive lightness, her remarkable sinuousness. Ms Guillem is still, without doubt, one of the dance world's most uncompromisingly adventurous artists.

“Sacred Monsters” is at Sadler's Wells from April 17th-22nd. It then travels to UCLA and Berkeley, California, in May. “Push” is in Venice and Naples in July, then at Snape Maltings, England in November.

homeworks

2007-04-14T17:15:33Z

1) In what ways might opel.com segment its customers, so that it could do an even better job of individualizing services? What segments of consumers are most likely to find value in the website’s offerings?

2) What consumer/s does opel.com target? How does the company’s targeting differ from that of other car sellers, like Honda or Ford?

3) How has the website strategically positioned itself? What are its competitive advantages?

The website, if one would explore its details, can be very complicated. It seems to present everything that the company offers in a 3D approach; one has to peel layer by layer albeit almost endlessly, and get entangled in the web before the potential consumer arrives to the intended information destination. It can be very transparent, although one is sort of directed to look in all directions, making one lose focus, but its diversity and being “decentralized” is something new.

It’s not traditional (and not-so-simple, if I may add so), like it’s a melting pot of various cultures in one global village. I guess it very much mirrors the dynamism, variety and multi-tasking lifestyle that many of the 21^st century consumers live out.

I deem that Opel, through the website, positioned itself strategically to cater to that modern and “global-thinking” market. That’s a good differentiator from their competitors who are catering to the typical segments that marketers defined into categories (ie, the “classics”; the “ruggeds”; the “yuppies”; the “executives”, etc.).

Its competitive advantage is that it’s very timely, and the browsing provides some value-added services because it also gets consumers in a maze; the site is like a showroom in itself – one can explore its diverse collection of product offerings (and get to meet the people working behind it too somewhere in one of the U-turns). The developers of the company’s website probably intentionally took into consideration the idea that consumers are human beings who are not one-dimensional, or are not bound or limited by a particular definition or stereotype, and that consumers would naturally want to see all the options first before deciding what exactly to purchase.

The website appeals to the curious; to those who are open and are in search for what they really want in a car – possibly those after aesthetics and added features more than the practical and technical aspects that compose a car. And those with disposable incomes, of course.

The “non-linear” presentation of Opel.com may be more systematic in segmenting their markets by still being grounded to some of the basic practices – grouping the car models according to the purchasing capacity of its potential buyers (low range models for the ones with more limited budget; middle market and the luxury car models for the really high-end ones), or merely separating the website per country.

***
For the individual product concept (we're supposed to come up with products that are not existing in the market yet):

A laptop-sized portable photocopier-printer that is heavy-duty: it does not only serve its purpose in the school and/or office arena, it can also be a companion in any adventure, may it be up in the mountains, inside the caves, along the beaches' shores, atop the rocks.

Just connect it to your digital camera and it can instantly print out a 300-megapixel image of yourself with the townsfolk you met and helped make your trip become even more extraordinary. And while you're there, maybe you'd like to give each of them a copy of the photo too. You also touched their lives in a way.

to add here: Only environment-friendly paper will be printed / photocopied.
***

The rigid laws of confidentiality in work can sometimes stir my blood and threaten my sanity, and it's a relief that I can at least be more open (and free-er!!!) in the other dimension that compose my lalalalife. Posting some of my homeworks here is just for documentation purposes. Not to be graded by blog readers. ^_~

Comments / criticisms are welcome though. ;-)
Just please don't LITERALLY shoot me.

don't want to GET OLD before i have to

2007-04-11T17:53:50Z

It's 12:30-ish in midnight, and I have works and a homework to prioritize, but I can't repress myself. I have to blog this.

***

I can't exactly recall this parable circulating in e-maildom, with a quotation on its end part, saying: "Dance like no one's watching, WORK LIKE YOU DON'T NEED THE MONEY" etc.

The reason why I particularly remembered this is because I connected it (especially the phrase in BOLD letters) to the topic that was discussed a while ago in the Product / Price module of the Marketing Diploma Program I'm currently attending. *Some long sentence, huh? There, go breathe now.

The mandatory self-introduction initially required us to answer what products or services will we splurge our money on should we wake up to find ourselves extremely rich one day, and which of the 8 universal values projected on the wide screen can be carried along with our desired properties or practices. These must also represent us as individuals and tell something about our lifestyles.

I wanted to say a European tour package of course, with the value of excitement attached to it and perhaps to portray an image of my culture-vultureness, but one of my classmates answered the same thing before I had my turn, so... No. I didn't want to say that anymore. Hehe.

Good thing I came up with a ready answer just about the same time when the source person (that's what we call the professors) signalled me to speak. I said that if I wake up filthy rich one day, I'd spend half of my money for philanthrophic ventures - donating to causes such as Bono's "Make Poverty History" campaign and the like. The value is thinking about the welfare of future generations.

Hah. Believe it or not, I am sincere with that one, no matter how superficial and bitchy I appear to be. But I didn't want them to linger on my altruism tendencies so I immediately shifted back to the other half of where I'll splurge my fast millions on. I said: Well, (*gasp. I surrendered!) a European tour just like Albert (but with more twist for me this time --) and go to the different museums to view and appreciate the paintings from the Renaissance and Baroque periods. Value is excitement. I guess this would say something about me because I love the arts, adventures, learning.

***

Gawd. TOBECONTINUED. I'll relate this to the "Work like you don't need the money" phrase.

I missed this blog.

-

2007-03-24T16:02:44Z

Work's hellish, classes are ethereal.

Work's chokingly disempowering, classes are further education at its finest and are very uplifting - it comes with superb classmates too!

But hey, despite these opposing forces that I'm having a slight difficulty in balancing, i still love the world around me. Work will get better.

I miss ____!

been stupid

2007-03-17T17:26:45Z

I made a huge mistake.

I shouldn't have gone out with him a while ago.

Just because we met exactly a year ago, and he's in the country, and I'm into reminiscing mode, doesn't give me the license to allow myself to be in an unbearably light position.

I refuse to be a Tereza trapped in some eternal cycle of recurrence. AND PLEASE. No Tomas is ever worth it. No respectable and dignified man would treat a woman that way. More so, no female deserves to be regarded in such manner.

I choose to move forward.

and the rationalization continues.. hehe

2007-03-14T17:39:01Z

Am I just rationalizing because I never seem to be doing enough, that I deem "it" becoming too much confidence-depleting, if not demoralizing?

Hay. I feel sooooooo POWERLESS. I'm just another ghost lurking around the premises, without much weight in terms of contribution, but is actually not defying gravity when it comes to physical presence.

Maybe I'm not really meant for excellence. Perhaps I'm just an overconfident bitch without really having anything significant to offer. I'm probably not meant for greatness as I once believed. Quite possibly, my ways of doing aren't really how things are structured.

Gawd, this is just so... *poof*. I know that a human's life is just a small dot in the infinite line of eternity, and that man is but a tiny speck of dust in the vast universe. But I have never, never, never felt my existence so zilch and immaterial as before.

I'm vanishing into thin air.

Makes me wonder if I have chosen the appropriate path; if I'll ever come out as what I've intended to be when I first entered, or if the output would be shreds of paper meant to be thrown out and be brushed aside. I'm gradually sensing that I've pushed myself in my current state just to put my name (and all the talents & potentials that I'd once been known to have) at stake.

Maybe it isn't my world at all.

Oh Lord. Help.

**

SAY NO TO NO

Isn't it high time someone got negative about negativity?
Yes it is.
Look around. The world is full of things that, according
to nay-sayers, should never have happened.
"Impossible."
"Impractical."
"No."

And yet "yes".
Yes, continents have been found.
Yes, men have played golf on the moon.
Yes, straw is being turned into biofuel to power cars.
Yes, yes, yes.

What does it take to turn no into yes?
Curiosity. An open mind. A willingness to take risks.
And, when the problem seems most insoluble, when the
challenge is hardest, when everyone else is shaking
their heads to say: Let's go.

Real energy solutions for the real world.
www.shell.com/realenergy

---> This ad (Don't you just love copyrighters?!) impressed me big time. I love it, and I would very much like to follow its message! But it's depressing to say that I don't have the will to do so at this point.

Shit, really.

when my sanity thread snaps

2007-03-11T06:31:57Z

My favorite line from the book Veronika Decides to Die goes something like: "Run the risk of being different. People never learn anything by being told, but by discovering things themselves."

I have absorbed and internalized this phrase, along with some others which I can't recall at the moment how exactly they go (My book's in a borrower's hands). The quotes though are somewhere along the ideas of:

1) anarchy (or the collapse of order, if I may define it based on my understanding)
2) saying what you want
3) go-be-crazy but just don't let other people notice it
4) not having the need to explain
5) the craziest people are those who don't know that they're crazy
6) celebrate differences
7) you don't have to fit in to the patterns dictated by society
8) you're free to question authority

I don't know if I interpreted the messages differently from how the writer intended to bring them forth to the readers' consciousness. Quite a heretic for the conventional others who would critic Coelho, but I must say that I consider them as words of wisdom, because I "lived" the author's teachings and pieces of advice, and they brought a pretty huge impact in me - in good ways.

The book empowered me, yes. It contributed a lot in rocking my boat which was once apprehensive to be thrown out in raging ocean waters, and it tore my safety nets wide open that made me see what's on the other side, and it brought me forward. Through the experience, I got to learn more, do more, share more, and to an extent... be more.

Those were the glory days of my youth. I felt that I was a shining light. (Haha, drama.) I was in control... I risked to be different, and I lived my universe according to my will. And it was good.

I'm writing about this because I feel that right now, all the learnings I imbibed in my system after reading and re-reading the narrative (or what I termed as the "life bible") are losing sense. I am slowly turning to be exactly the opposite.

I feel so disempowered.
Orders are something that must be rigidly followed, in accordance to the higher-ups' standards.
If I have to say what I want, I must do so with too much caution, because I might be "misinterpreted," which can create miscommunication and problems.
I have to explain everything, even if I don't feel like doing so.
Because I'm trying to follow all the rules and comply to the notion of how I'm "supposed" to act, I'm repressing my true, inner craziness (read: my more honest self).
I must fit to society's patterns: say, a time for lunchtime is strictly a time for eating lunch, just the same as everyone else. That means that I have to force myself to eat even if I'm not hungry.

Hmmm. Lalala. The man-made laws of the environment in which I move has taken over me. I don't know if it's the environment who's crazy, or if it's just me who's really too insane to be in that type of environment to begin with.

And the tragedy is, I'm too powerless to either step out or continue.

Unwritten
Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten ,yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh
(Can I just elaborate how these highlighted phrases mean so much to me?!)

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live you life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
(YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!)

Belated New Year ('s Resolutions)

2007-03-04T10:02:18Z

Just realized that I wrote a tremendous lot of reminiscing about 2006 in my year-ender entry, but I didn't write a single resolution.

One new activity I intend to do with my lalalalife before 2008 is...

Trek a mountain.

Okay, there's no single bone in my genetic make-up that will reveal traces of being a mountaineer. Farrrrr from it. But I would really, really, REALLY love to try this even just one time in this lifetime. I don't care about the perils I'd encounter while trekking, I could only imagine the cool, breezy air, the warm sunshine (or the stars and moons, depending on what time I would have reached the peak), the bluish-white skies and the silencing beauty of the view below.

I don't even know what mountain it would be in particular, but just the same...

More activities to follow. TBC

because books are happyness

2007-03-02T17:07:48Z

1. One book that changed your life.
Paulo Coelho's "Veronika decides to die"

2. One book you have read more than once.
Milan Kundera's "The Unbearable Lightness of Being"

3. One book you would want on a desert island.
Isabel Allende's "Daughter of Fortune"

4. One book that made you laugh.
David Sedaris' "Me Talk Pretty One Day". Also "Freakonomics" by Dubner and Levitt

5. One book that made you cry.
Luanne Rice's "Follow the Stars Home"... :-( And Wally Lamb's "She's Come Undone"

6. One book you wish had been written. -- I don't understand the question. A book I wish I wrote na lang!:
Cynthia Gralla's "The Floating World"

7. One book you wish had never been written.
-

8. One book you are currently reading.
All piled up! Coelho's "The Devil and Miss Prym", Allende's "Zorro", Margaret Atwood's "Cat's Eye", Palahniuk's "Diary"

9. One book you have been meaning to read.
This smiley Marketing Research book by Ned Roberto. It's a semi-requirement. Also Jeffrey Sach's "The End of Poverty" :-)

10. Tag five people for this meme. I won't be upset if you don't do the meme. But the meme ghost might be.
Ikaw, baby.

**

Speaking of books, I came across "The Pursuit of Happyness" at Fully Booked a while ago, and I copied some exerpts from its back cover page:

"A memoir that will have you rooting for the underdog as it stirs you to pursue your own dreams."
...Gardner continued to pursue his dream of becoming a successful stockbroker -- despite having neither Wall Street experience nor even a college degree. Now a successful broker and the founder of Gardner Rich & Company, a multi-million dollar brokerage firm, Gardner epitomizes what it takes to claim the American dream, even when others would doubt you.

I WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE.
I feel that:
1) I will like it and can relate to it in some way, and that I’ll eventually list it as one of my favorite movies in Friendster (haha, yup - loserish. ^_~), and
2) The movie will be a great factor in pushing me to finally dip my toes in the unpredictable and risky ocean of stock market, as my brother Jong had been urging me in the past few months.

As if naman ang dami kong pera. Given my high tendency to succumb to the callings of the consumerist society lately, and my more “loosely-screwed” financial conscience taking over the “controlled” and more rational side, this plan is still on the beach frolicking stage.

By the way, let's walk the white sands bare-foot. ;-)

On Kokoy, Sandaang Panaginip, blobs & taking forms

2007-02-24T14:40:06Z

I don't know what exactly is the purpose of this post. I'm not sure why I wanted to make another entry in the first place. I have not planned anything to write about, although there are many bloggable events that took place recently, such as Kokoy's play, the ENTABLADO Productions' "Sandaang Panaginip" at the ADMU Cervini Field, and last night's Wasakan "Intimate Edition" session with the Inquirer babes at Gerry's Grill / Starbucks ABS CBN Compound.

Aaah. So now there's something to narrate, after all.

For this entry, let's just focus on my brother's stint as a thespian.

Hay. This brother of mine's such a.... I can't quite figure the term that would fit here. He's simply himself as he is, and it's such a blob -- that formless anything without actually pertaining to anything, but it's a term that exist anyway for the sake of having a word that the communicating public can adopt for something, anything, without a form.

Ooohlala. All I'm saying is that he blows the brains out of me (if there's something to be blown, that is...). You just can't define him. He's not within the contours of my twisted logic, nor is he anywhere within the spirals of my limited world view. Well, it's not a totally grave and puzzling question, but I just wonder why he dedicated so much of his time, energy, allowance and the fairies know what else, to an organization in a university where he doesn't belong to anymore.

I'm not pulling him down, and I'm not placing him in an embarassing position. I'm just stating a fact, and though there are really acceptable answers such as the girlfriend factor, and that there's nothing wrong with going back to where you once warmly belonged (as he is still welcomed in the theater group like some of the other non-Atenean members) anyway, and that passion over-empowers reason in most cases, it's just that it's really frustrating.

It could've been so much better watching him perform his well-rehearsed role under the starry sky in that majestic and detailed theatrical production, knowing that he still studies there. But as I've said, ... not anymore. Nakakahinayang lang talaga. Yun lang yun. Hehe.

Brother, brother. But I still believe that he's maximizing whatever situation, resources and potentials that he's got. So I'd give him a thumbs-up. And my big love. Love yah bro! (Haha, this is starting to get comic, diba corneliusfudd?)

So back to the play. I loves it. :) & I'm proud of Kokoy's performance too!!! :-) It's such a surprise to see him dance, sing and act on stage!

It tackles my fave theme of reality and imagination, and how not being aware of its boundaries and the danger of crossing the borderline from one to the other without a grip sense of control can lead to a mishmash of sorts, which can blind us in seeing the real score of what's happening, oftentimes to other people's expense. It is a play written by the multi-awarded Rene O. Villanueva, and was turned musical through the composition of Noel de la Rossa, under the direction of Jerry Respeto.

It wasn't just some "college play". It's big-budgeted (even *ehem* Smart Bro is a major sponsor -- now why did I just mention that?), excellently-executed down to the small details (costumes, accompanying graphics, lights, music, accents of actors, choreography, props), and one that is socially relevant to boot.

There's my super short review of the play. I'm not one of the students in the audience required to make a review and submit a paper to their Filipino professors anyway, so I'm not obliged to elaborate. But to stretch it just a little, there are fairies, kings, queens, evil and funny stepsisters ("Ang ari ng trono ay ari ng bayan!"), sidekicks and slaves. And the language used is the makatang Tagalog.

I just so much love the world of theater. It provides an avenue for much creativity, and it tolerates the limitless adventure of imagination, which can all be turned real in a given stage.

Thanks to Kokoy's play, this entry found a purpose. The blob of thought that was originally the blank starting point of this clean and unwritten blog space developed its own form.

It's long... but read it anyway, biatches ;-)

2007-02-11T08:30:06Z

I just watched The Devil Wears Prada for the second time. And this time around, I got something more than amusement over Andy Sachs' fabulous, mouth-watering stylish clothes.

I remembered when I was still in the early stage of my college years. I absolutely hated the course I was taking. Economics was something I despised, for I had this perception that it's something that is inhuman; it's something that's just bound to mould people to become profit-oriented capitalists and the like. I had foreseen that studying "floating" numerical figures, statistics, econometrics, laws of supply and demand, etc., is without a heart, and that they are all going against the principles I believe in. Not to mention the fact that I'm imbecile when it comes to math.

I was decided that I wanted to be out then. I wrote a lot of essays pertaining to my unwanted major of study as means of therapy, and the point came when I teary-eyed-ly told my parents that by the time I finish my second year, I would shift to either Literature or Philosophy. At least in either of those two courses, I would happily be in-tune with my self, digesting poetry or any what-have-you literary (theatrical scripts included!) / philosophical materials -- all to my heart's content. I acknowledged that with Lit or Philo, I would be following my heart... and isn't that the most important thing?

Then came their judgment.

We were having dinner at Gerry's Grill in Libis when we had that "discussion." I told them my plans, and just about after swallowing their 28th spoon of sisig, they came up with reasons why they wouldn't allow me to have a change in the direction I was taking.

I encountered the most expected question, "So what will you do afterwards?"

Not knowing exactly what to respond, I blurted: "I'm not sure.. Write? But I know it's what will make me happy."

I supposed there wouldn't be an argument after the "it will make me happy" statement, but it didn't turn out that way. So I let them blab their two-piece.

First is the anyone-can-write proposition. This is actually a bit surprising, coming from someone who has lived his entire career in the photojournalism industry. It’s as though he is devaluing his profession, thinking that anyone can just do what he does. But yes, my favorite father in the world believes so. He said that if I wanted to be a writer, I didn't have to take up Literature or Philosophy as my major. I could graduate from any course and still be a writer. He pointed out that there are doctors, architects, priests, etc., who write.

And second, there goes the there-is-no-money-in-writing argument. I actually found this to be very shallow, for all the idealistic inner voices within tell me that if you do what you love or what you're passionate about, and you do it good while you're at it, the money will just follow. Though I must say that I validated this argument after taking into consideration our condition. That's right... we, being a family of six that has something writing-related as our bread-and-butter, can prove that the money derived from it cannot suffice to make ends meet. Hehe.

Anyway. My point was that they didn’t allow me. They were against the idea of my shifting courses, and I’m not being my drama queen self when I say that I went to my 7am classes with swollen eyes, after nights of crying and self-reflection. My blockmate-barkada & eternal seatmate Jeamie once noticed and asked if I was okay.

I couldn’t tell the entire reason because we’ve only known each other for some time then, and we were still on the initial stages of traversing the Economics learning curve. Plus I sensed that she might think I’m going overboard about some drama-dilemma. I had this worry of freaking her out, so I just let out very partial details – enough to satisfy her curiosity over my puffy eyes.

But God has his way of making you realize that things don’t always go the way you perceive them. As I heartbreakingly turned my back on the two other possible directions that I would rather have chosen and forced myself to tread the path to the future that was imposed upon me, I learned along the way that the field I was taking isn’t as heartless. I must admit though that it required an effort on my part to internalize what or how it is to be an “ekonomista,” and I tried my best to put heart in what I do or read about.

Other than the reading materials provided to us, the book “The Richest Man in Babylon” helped a lot, and I have a few professors (three, to be exact – Garcia, Gonzales and Figueroa – in that particular order) to thank for making me see the other side of the coin. I owe the paradigm shift most especially to the concepts of “saving,” “investment,” “sustainable development” and “economic nationalism,” for it is because of these economic principles that I surrendered to my once-negative perception of what Economics is all about. Having learned these particular areas of Econ woke me up to the reality that there is more to the course than just purely business and cold-hearted undertakings. That just because the country is in huge debt from World Bank or the International Monetary Fund doesn’t mean that they are enemies we have to contend with for making us miserable and poorer than we already are (although yes, some of their policies are to be blamed for that). -- Okay, so that was a little out of line, but hey, you know what I mean. ;)

What I initially thought was evil, turned out to be not very much so, because I figured that instead of cursing, dwelling on the negative perceptions and being unhappy with where I am, I chose (and all the universe conspired!) to love what I’m faced with. My mind was cracked open on the possibilities of what can be done, or simply what are (umm.. go figure).

My being involved in the youth organization Junior Philippine Economics Society is a manifestation of the success of my struggle. And I’m thankful that through it, I had been provided an avenue to share “Econ matters” that I consider more valuable to the other Econ students I met and worked with in “bridging the gap between theory and practice”. Making bookmarks with quotes on sustainable development and economic nationalism placed inside their seminar kits, for instance. That’s one, and though I’m talking about other small things, at least I got satisfaction by the thought that my tiny efforts found its place to a nobler pursuit. Igniting fires... now that’s hot. Harhar. ;-)

Just like Andy Sachs’ kickass character, I initially had a negative perception towards a certain path: she, thinking that fashion & models are superficial and glamour magazines don’t have anything to do with her; while I in Economics, thinking that it’s just for the money-hungry and cold-hearted businesspeople who don’t give a damn.

The difference is that I saw a light, while she permanently left the fashion world. I couldn’t blame her, given the plot and the other characters surrounding her, and I so love that movie. Hehe =) But that’s not exactly my point.

What compelled me really to write an entry after watching the gorgeous film (yup, everything I wrote above is just an introduction), is because I’ll soon be entering another world, and again, just like Sachs and the earlier me, I’m having slight negative vibes about it.

A diploma course in Marketing is just something that landed in the palm of my hands (with very little intervention from me), and because I’m losing zeal from work, I thought that taking an “extracurricular activity” would be the best solution to keep me on my toes. That program is the nearest, most tangible escape I could have and take at the moment (and only God knows for now whether it’ll be useful for my future paths or otherwise), and I’m very lucky because I have a supportive uncle when it comes to financing my further studies, provided that I finish and make use of it.

But I’m just not so sure about Marketing. Marketing Research is tolerable, but Marketing alone… well, I feel it’s not as authentic and that I wouldn’t be as attached in life and my truer self as I would want. I deem its purpose to be solely commercial, and I can’t see where it will all boil down to.

If putting it in the context of films (haha ang layo), I see Marketing in the forefront of the mainstream wave. It’s up there hitting the box office and gaining a lot of publicity, but it doesn’t touch you deep down. Unlike the indie ones which do not necessarily shine in the public eye, but they are the most heartfelt and genuine materials that exist. I would choose the latter any given day.

I had an experience in Marketing, and I super hate some aspects of it, especially the part when I had to kiss newspaper editors’ asses just to have a press release come out. Now that’s just taboo. That’s one of the factors why I had a dislike to continue a former job.

To cut it short, the path I’m about to take seems to be for the prosperity of business alone, but without a greater or sublime intention.

Will I be proven wrong again? Will there be more to the course than what I think it can only offer? Will I back out because it will be something that I really couldn’t take? Or will an alternative path be available for me and take away everything that I have planned out?

I will seek for answers. All I’m sure about for now is that I don’t want to waste my uncle’s investment.

I wish I can write something about the boyfriend part, too… but well. There’s just nothing to write about that at this point. Haha! =)

Now please get me my clickety-clack high-heeled stilletos and let me do the catwalk... in moderate steps.

balloons & bubbles

2007-01-30T16:01:39Z

Ohmygod.

OHMYGOD!!!!

Hahaha :)

Sorry, this isn't about lovelife. :-( Hehe.

Just that I took a leave for Feb 8 & 9 (You got that??! A LEAVE!!!!!!!). And I'm going to Clearwater Country Club in Clark again. :-) Not so much to be excited about, I know. But well... I'd grab any routine-breaker within my grasp and make the most out of whatever is presented in front of me just to prevent myself from being burned-out.

The most exciting part of all is that it's coinciding with the 11th Philippine International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta! At long last --- I'll get to immerse myself in something new!!!!

I'm so happy it's bringing tears to my eyes. Hehehe.

Gawd. That's just lovely. :-)

Hay. Sweet thought.

You wouldn't imagine how short-circuit and frustrated I can get if none of these will push through as I pictured the events unfolding in my enchanted & effed-up head. Hehe. But right now, let me dwell in this bubble floating oh-so-happily into the dewy, globally-warm air.

just another work-ranting

2007-01-23T17:39:42Z

I sometimes feel that I'm being deprived of a more exciting, adventurous & fuller life, given the nature of my work. Without me noticing, accumulating overtimes has suddenly established itself in the normal progression of things.

When did going home on time sounded unusual?

Don't get me wrong. I love my work. But I hate the fact that I'm forgetting the bigger world outside the office walls where I often find myself glued. I enjoy the learnings I get from my day-to-day encounters with data tables and secondary research sources, but I despise it that the other aspects of my once colorful existence are left stagnating.

Sure, I "grow" everyday - knowledge and challenge-wise - in the career path I'm faced with, but I'm not as motivated and sing-songy, overall. With the routine I have (work-house-office-sleep-work-boring!!!!)... there's just not much spark. Not much passion in my life's totality.

And I go crazy when there's no rocking-of-boat.

So what steps do I take to solve this dilemma?

I'm in dire need of something to keep me enchanted (and hot -- no pun intended) in this becoming-numb & cold, everyday journeys.

Theater? Take my masteral studies? Yoga? Pilates? Mountain hiking? salmon-fishing and clay pigeon hunting? Okay, the last one's a joke. :D Travel!!! Maybe poetry readings & art exhibits.

I don't know. These exciting thoughts of leisure activities help me get up during lazy, sunshiny mornings. But it's pretty ironic to think that I may not get to do those any minute soon because of my lack of spare time for a lot of things (add the lack of money to finance all the activities I intend to take.. hehe).

Ughm. Guess I'd just wrap this blabber by saying that sure, there is a life outside the office walls, and precisely why I overstay there almost every day, is because I want to go out. Perhaps not literally, but to an area of a wider radius, eventually.

**
I'm watching Peter Pan with my cousins, yippeee. :)
& I miss ____. hehe :)

olympics

2007-01-17T23:09:06Z

I sooooo wanna go to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing!!!!!!!! Waaaaahhhh!!!!!!

For a lot of reasons.
1) Simply for the sake of travelling
2) Because China is the place to be
3) It'll be really festive -- lotsa people from all over the world will be there too!
4) I miss the action of being in sports events. hehe
etc. etc. etc.

Sana marami na kong maipon. Goodluck.

***

I rocked 2006 (2nd part)

2006-12-31T20:22:08Z

CONTINUATION:

7) Being hired by GfK

I consider my being hired by GfK NOP (it means “Growth from Knowledge – National Opinion Poll” by the way) as a blessing. Market research is really the field I wanted to get into and specialize at, and it was also the motivating factor why I accepted the Marketing job for Speed / Action & Fitness magazines in the first place (even if I knew that it wasn’t something I could keep for the next one year or so).

After my PDI stint as a Research Assistant last September 2005, I wanted to get into the number 1 market research company in the world, and so I applied and was called to take the test and interview, which I did… but was never called again… :D

I took the job at Airo Media because I had a Research title in my resume for a print media company (Inquirer), and I thought that having the Marketing job for a magazine publishing company would just be in line with the goal of treading the path I intend to take for the long term. And since the number 1 global MRC boasts of market and media research services, I figured that everything are just falling into place, and that my records will back it up just fine.

Analyzing it now (really?! Hehe), I may not have been hired by the “top-of-mind” research firm, but the preparations I took led me now to working at the 4^th highest-ranking research company in the world. Not bad at all. J I’ve proven that when you really set your mind and heart into reaching a set goal, God will grant it to you. You just have to be persevering and hardworking, and that you have to trust him – big time. J He’ll take care of it.

I would say that through this work, I am living a dream. Some would say I’m lucky, and though I may agree to that at a certain point, I would also burst the bubble by saying that they don’t have any idea how much is sacrificed or traded off.

Never have I been stressed in my entire life, and never have I felt so inefficient, small, and at times, paranoid (haha). I even got to the lowest point of doubting my capabilities and worrying that my bosses don’t trust me. What’s really foul and unfair though is that I release my frustrations at home (of course, I always have to act “composed” when I’m at the office, right? Hehe), at the expense of my family. They are witnesses to how bitchy, bratty, and irritating I can get, and I only have one thing to say: they are irreplaceable. I swear my family is the best.

I’ve shed tears, and I’ve experienced so much stress in this job. It wasn’t anything like this at all at first. The first few months had actually been somewhat light (I’ve felt just right – nothing “insufficient, incapable, inefficient,” or anything of that sort) and extremely enjoyable, and I can always relax after the 6pm shift (I even had time for gigmicks – even on weekdays!). But the workload got heavy along the way, and my routine became totally disrupted.

There will be more situations like these, I’m sure. The question is if I can handle it all. Well… this is a dream, and God brought me to it. I believe that He will bring me through it. Or if not, then he’d have other plans for me.

I can only give my best shot (which I think I do, despite my own perceived shortcomings), and if that’s not enough for them, then it wouldn’t be my problem. My performance will be evaluated in the next few days, and whether I become regularized or otherwise, I’d hang to the thought that I had been given a chance to live my dream, and I gave it my all. No regrets. J

Har. Ohwell. Rationalize, rationalize.

Bahala na si God dun. There will be life after that, if ever.

Lastly pala, for this particular “highlight”. Another downside of this job is that I feel so adult-ish now. This wasn’t like any of my previous jobs where I felt I was just playing. This time, I feel like I’ve taken the pill to adulthood, and there’s no turning back.

That’s too bad. If ever I’ll be working for the same company in the next couple of years, I will be needing an outlet; an extracurricular activity. Something that would make me stay in touch with my inner child (I hate being an adult!!!), perhaps theater again, or take a sideline as a pre-school teacher. Or I’d organize literary events like poetry-readings, or any other project that would stir my creative juices and put my artsy-fartsiness into a more productive use. Hehe, seriously! ;)

There. Who cares about following a rigid path to actualizing a bigger dream if I don’t become a better human being in the process?

8) Gigs groupie

One thing I was lucky to have been influenced this year was to attend a couple of gigs by these amazing Filipino bands / artists. Pinikpikan, Spy, Cynthia Alexander, Joey Ayala, Up Dharma Down. Yeah. J

I’d been a 70s Bistro / Conspiracy tambay, and I couldn’t feel any cooler than that. Haha, astig. ;) Loves it!

Would love to further explore the hidden-yet-wealthy Filipino music artistry in other uncharted underground places this 2007, and I wouldn’t mind doing so with the same good friend that I gained from my Greenpeace stint (whom I only got to meet this year as well!) and accompanied me to gigs, etc. :)

9) Pink turns gold.

Umm. Lolo Joe & Lola Minda’s golden wedding anniv - we were the talk of the San Blas, Villasis town for months! Haha. It had been such a successful celebration. It especially held significance for me because I performed a playwright’s role out of weaving my grandparents’ love story and convert it into something sort of a musical. Pardon me for carrying my own bench, but I think I did a pretty good job, hehe.

Had I written original songs suited for each scene instead of using the popular ones like “Kapag Tumibok ang Puso,” “Maniwala Ka,” & “Summer Lovin”, I will submit the script to Broadway and charge for royalties. Wehe, just kidding. Super ka-feelingan lang ;p

But it couldn’t have been more exceptional if not for the performers that brought life to the script – the whole Sarmy Army.

The event made my 2006, alright, but it was the Saturday practices at CKMS (with Sir Benjie) and one-week rehearsals at the Royal Cargo office that made it all the more unforgettable. It signified the “seasons of love” that we have for our dear ‘couple’ par excellance (Alona accent :P).

Kampay! J

10) Wasakan Wednesdays

Ohmysweetlord. How can I miss the Wasakers for my year-ender entry? I feel honored to be invited to this circle. 2006 ain’t 2006 without this bunch of newfound treasures. J

The highlights of my year 2006, babes. There's more (i.e., my dad's birthday party here at home with the PDI photogs, Sarmiento sportsfest at Westgrove with Angelo & Estefano!, Aquino Christmas Party, organizing the company Christmas party, etc. etc. etc.), but I wanted to limit it to ten. So... so.

It was just one year, I feel I made it appear like the narration of my lifetime. Ehe. Well, I had a full and great 2006.

Have a kickass 2007! I wonder what’s in store for us this year?… Hmmm. Can’t wait. J

I rocked 2006 (1st part)

2006-12-31T09:22:48Z

Our pal Socrates once said: “The life not examined is a life not worth living.”

In respect to the great philosopher, and for my own sweet sense of satisfaction, I will look back in the year that was 2006 – the events, people and lessons gained, and instill new sparks of hope and determination as I face 2007.

You are most utterly welcome, selected genuine friends and chosen few, kindred spirits! (If you don’t fall under any of the two categories, go away!!! Hehe J, else read on at your own risk.)

The highlights:

1) Being an “abay” for Tito Apollo and Tita Kay’s wedding.

Tito Apollo is my mom’s cousin, who belongs to the extended family outside the “original” family that have been defined to us ever since. But because life in the Philippines is hard, which forced some of our “original” family members (umm, the one composed of my mom’s brothers, sisters and nephews / nieces, read: MY uncles, aunts and cousins) to flee abroad, the family extension have taken the place of the original family members in several occasions.

This beautiful wedding last January symbolized the start of such change of set-up. Ever since the event, the ties between our extended families got closer, with us having been invited to their celebrations of certain special occasions (i.e., our second cousins’ parties / get-togethers), as they are with ours. It also indicated how families adopt to changing realities (naks, I’ve gone this far in telling about a wedding?! hehe).

2) Kokoy’s gig in Tiendesitas

He’s the brother I love to hate. He has tested the extent of our - this include my parents’, especially my dad’s - patience and depth of understanding for having diverted from the defined ideal many times, and for seemingly becoming lost while at it, not to mention his love for refusing to follow any directions from us, if not listening to us at all. But his passion for his music is unquestionable. It’s something that he strives to create, and would do so without the money or fame.

His gig with his band at Tiende last January (he had a lot this year… I know because he went home past 2 or 3 am several times - but this is the only gig I got to watch…) made me feel proud of him. I hope he’ll get to follow his heart’s desires this coming year, and that he will accomplish many things. And since meeting the requirements that my parents asked for seems to be not anywhere close to his list of priorities or goals, I hope that he acknowledge the sense that he’s not getting any younger, and that he would soon be needing resources too for him to continue living a good life and become a responsible citizen of the world, without depending so much on anyone else’s sustenance.

3) My 4-month job stint at Airo Media (mid-January to first week of June ’06)

I’m not really a huge fan of latest gadgets and technology, nor of sports (I love walking / jogging and I was a cheerleader in college, alright. Heh! ;p But as I’ve said before, other than that, the only closest thing I can get to ‘sporty’ is a pair of white sneakers, hehe).

But the job I had as a Marketing Assistant for this publishing company opened up a new world for me. I would say that it even brought out more the adventurous spirit that was waiting to be tapped in me.

I especially like the works I did for Action & Fitness magazine, because not only did I get to learn about sports that used to be soo alien-sounding (i.e., duathlon, triathlon, aquathlon, wu-shu, capoeira, spinning, dragon boat, autocross – where I even hosted most of the races for the annual PLDT-MyDSL Autocross series), I also met people who were involved in the various sports (even some sports not mentioned like mountain and rock climbing), and I’ve lived their exciting worlds.

I also realized my dream of writing for a magazine (though it wasn’t Time or The Economist, hehe) through the assignments of covering the 3^rd leg of the Petron Beach Volleyball (which I did very comprehensively, but only about a third was published), the 2006 Fila Polo Cup, Magsaysay golf cup, and short articles for other Nestle Powerbar-sponsored cycling and badminton competitions.

Now, I couldn’t imagine what might have happened had I not accepted the job offer. I’m glad I did!

One more thing. I never cared about looking at guys in bikes and helmets, with sponsors (i.e., Discovery Channel!) plastered all over their body-tight suits. Athletic guys never appealed to me, because I never had the slight interest in their pursuits. But now, I’ll bother going out of my way to take a second look. Haha! :P

4) Cousin Eona’s debut / 1-night photo exhibit

I loooove this because it’s Eona’s step for a shot at womanhood! Hehe J She also gave me the opportunity to write a full-event script in a non-traditional manner, which turned out to be what I would consider as one of my accomplishments. I also got to host the party / artsy photo-exhibit event with two of my Pink Table Fed babes Edel & Zaza, which provided us the stage to promote the Pink Table Federation cousinhood to a broader audience. Harhar. It had been a successful celebration all-in-all – very intimate, astig, surreal but nice, very Eona, and it’s certified that she loved and enjoyed it. Yey! J

I soooooo looooovvveeee Eona, Edel, Zaza & the rest of my cousins! It’s such a happy thing that this year made our bond stronger than ever.

5) Meeting R_g__t.

Haha, why the blank spaces and missing letters?! Anyone close to me would know who I’m referring to. So. Well. I’m really thankful I met him. In the few months that we were always around each other’s company, so many memorable moments happened (there is a separate entry for that. I think it’s even included in my LJ Memories, if not, go check mid-June entries :p).

Moments shared with him, I believe, would be long stocked up in my poetic memory, as they are ones that I would want to go back to whenever I feel jaded or cynical. They remind me of the sugarcoatings and all-that-jazz sweet imaginings of a young girl experiencing the offerings of a romantic relationship for the first time.

But I have experienced the saying that “all-that-jazz” is only ephemeral, and that it would require more than sugarcoatings and sweet imaginings to make a relationship last a lifetime. One will figure out what he / she wants and will learn to define which qualities he/she can tolerate and those which he/she can not bear. So one can only set priorities straight and be wise in choosing the partner that would suit him / her well.

5) Puerto Galera with family

Out-of-town nature-adventure trips with my family always makes me giddy, and this year at Mindoro made me just that. It wasn’t as exciting as the Hundred Islands or the Bohol trip from previous years, but the boat ride from Batangas Port to Galera and back, the snorkeling, search for the cottage, ihaw-ihaws, unavoidable photo shoots, etc etc., made it worthwhile. Plus the fresher air!, which leads me to my next highlight…

6) Working for Greenpeace.

Ever since I watched Before Sunset and started receiving e-mails from Greenpeace after I signed in my name and contact info at an attempt to watch a Moonrise Documentary Film at Gateway in 2005, I’ve always believed in the cause that the org is fighting for.

Environmental Economics was one of my favorite favorite subjects back in college, and after having absorbed its principles made me a consistent advocate of sustainable development (wow, I’m beginning to sound like a hardcore! Haha) - one where governments will work to put up infrastructures and other forms of capital as means to boost economic progress, but without sacrificing our natural resources.

I’ve always been informed of what Greenpeace is up to (they’re very active in e-mails!), and since I believe in their cause, and I thought it’d be cool for an Economics graduate to be affiliated with an environmental organization, I seriously considered providing more contribution than just merely being a recipient of their online digests.

And provide more contribution, I did. I thought I could just volunteer or something, but some greater opportunity knocked on my door and I saw their ad in the website that they were looking for Direct Dialogue Campaigners. I sent my resume and I was ambush-interviewed through phone the next day, then was told to report to their office for an actual interview and training in the day that followed. Amazing chain of events, really. J

I got hired, thankfully, and I met cool friends! In the span of two weeks that I worked there (-which included training and the exact one week of assuming my responsibilities as a DDC-er, hehe :P), I made rounds at Ever Gotesco Mall in Q.C. and Quezon City Hall, bringing to people environmental information which everyone is in dire need to be equipped of, and relaying to them how they can do their part in protecting the environment by signing up as Gpeace supporter.

I remember how I was always perky when I got up in the morning then, thinking that I’ll be spending the day harassing passersby (har. joke. We use "non-violent" means!) and be with this cool bunch of “Captain Planet” teammates who wouldn’t allow dull moments get in the way of work.

I sooo miss those more-carefree days.

Waaah! To be continued. J More about being hired at GfK, the gigs!!!, Lolo Joe & Lola Minda’s 50^th Golden Wedding Anniversary!!!, Wasakan Wednesdays.

We’ll just hear mass. In case I don’t get to continue writing these within the night, HAPPY NEW YEAR, LOVES!!! J Hope we’ll all have a wonderful 2007!

bare-all

2006-12-16T09:53:47Z

One of the crazy things I did while jobhunting after my Speed / Action & Fitness Mag stint was to link this blog URL to the e-mails (with my attached resume) I sent to some companies, especially to those which jobs I applied for had anything writing-related.

And after browsing through old Sent mails, I realized and affirmed that I did that too to the company I'm working for now. When I got hired, I knew at some point that I did send an e-mail with the blog link, but I never went to the point of double-checking the Job Application mail, nor in entertaining the thought that I might have given the blog address to the person who had the first influence upon my hiring. I just went on living my work days free from the notion that someone may actually have access to all my thoughts other than an officemate I personally gave the blog site to.

So hooohh noo. Our dear Administrator may be reading all my work-rantings from previous entries with me naked and in a totally unguarded position.

Haha. :)

I'm not worried at all... I write what I write in all honesty.

Extreme transparency may get freaky at times, but it has its benefits too.

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Reality Check. I want to tread the path of Market Research not only because I can apply some principles of Economics, but also because I believe that through it, I can be equipped with training and get to establish my credibility sufficient enough for me to realize my dream of writing excellently-researched, meaty & factual entries for Time Magazine / The Economist, and later, international bestsellers like Isabelle Allende's works (where socio-political-economic harshness of a nation is often weaved with magical realism & lyrical fiction). Harhar.

Am I still in track? With the rate I'm going, it's still difficult to tell, but gawd I hope so...